This is, in part, because of the embarrassment factor
Teens Tell Truth About Sex
uk canada goose outlet Many parents have confessed to me that, at some point, they have experienced a nearly irrepressible urge to rifle through their teen’s backpack. Or to read their teen’s journal be it an online diary or a lined book filled with loopy script that was left spread eagle and spine up near the family computer… practically emblazoned with “Read me she’ll never notice. ” uk canada goose outlet
It’s understandable that parents would want to do a little investigating. Even without canada goose any solid canada goose outlet black friday sale evidence or direct testimony, there are clues when a teen is embarking on a journey for which his or her parents did not plan the itinerary: the left onscreen IM to a girl with an unfamiliar name that ends “i luv u! ” or a thong underwear in the wash that was not a parent endorsed purchase. Even though we know teens have a social life that frequently doesn’t include adult supervision, the oft sudden realization that they may be hiding such an important part of their lives can be a startling wake up call.
Just as a teenager’s life gets more complicated, the stakes get higher: heartbreak, STDs, and pregnancy become immediate risks. At the same time, from a developmental standpoint, teens are supposed to be pulling away from the adults in their lives. In a sense, this pulling away is good for both parents and teens: it’s one thing to be an 11 year old’s main confidante, but no parent truly wants a play by play of their 15 year old’s date, any more than a teen wants to know the details of his or her parent’s romantic life.
But at the same time, many teens do not have the maturity, judgment, or sophistication to make possibly life changing decisions regarding sex without the input of an older, wiser adult. So, canada goose outlet new jersey that’s the bind canada goose outlet toronto factory we find ourselves in, needing to: 1 See what’s truly going on in teens’ sex lives and 2 Talk to teens about sex and sexuality in a way that will empower them to confidently make intelligent, responsible decisions (even though they act like they don’t want to talk to us at all, let alone about sex). On the front lines of this communication gap, many parents and other adults who care about teens have pulled me aside to ask, “What’s going on with my teenager? I found this [thong underwear /love letter /condom], and I’m not sure what it means. Is my teen in love? Or in danger? Or both? Help! ”
canada goose store And I think I can help because teens confide in me. Ever since I began communicating with teens more canada goose factory outlet than a decade ago as the “Sex and Body ” columnist for canada goose cap uk Seventeen magazine, teens have been telling me what they consider to be their deepest, darkest secrets secrets they are too afraid or too embarrassed to reveal to their parents, their teachers, or the adult in their lives they feel closest to. Often, these are secrets teens think adults can’t handle. “What would happen, ” I sometimes ask, “if you told your parents what’s canada goose outlet really going on with you? ” canada goose store
buy canada goose jacket cheap “They’d freak out. ” buy canada goose jacket cheap
“They’d kick me out of the house. ”
“They wouldn’t understand. ”
“They don’t know what it’s like to be a teenager now. ”
Even though I generally like to take a listen without judging approach to teens, this is the one place where teens so often get it wrong. Most of the parents I speak to want to know more about what’s going on with their teen’s life, not to persecute them or put them on “lockdown, ” but to help them.
Teens Want to Close the Communication Gap
As I was starting research for this book, I sent an e mail to teens saying, “Listen, I know it can be hard to canada goose factory outlet vancouver talk about sex, so if you tell me your secret thoughts, feelings, and actions, I’ll share your words in a book, to help adults understand where you’re coming from and how best to help you. ”
cheap canada goose uk You might think teens would say, “No thanks! I’ll keep my most intimate thoughts to myself if it’s all the same to you. ” It is, after all, the rare teen (dare I say, no teen) who wants to break the news about what they’re up to sexually to their own parents. This is, in part, because of the embarrassment factor. And anecdotal as well as scientific research (and good common sense) tells us that teens, like children of all ages, are loath to disappoint their parents. cheap canada goose uk
53% of 12 to 17 year olds are “very ” or “extremely ” concerned
Canada Goose Coats On Sale about disappointing their parents. Canada Goose Coats On Sale
canada goose factory sale Another 36% report they are “concerned. ” canada goose factory sale
8% are “a little concerned. ”
Only 3% are “not concerned at all. ”
canada goose coats But they did confide in me: hundreds of teens contacted me, eager to share the most intimate details about their love and sex lives (or lack thereof) and stating quite explicitly that they wanted me to tell parents and other adults in their lives about their secret thoughts, their personal feelings, and even their most private actions. “I have to say, your book is a wonderful idea, ” said Melinda, 16, from Washington. “Many parents these days think they know what’s going on with their kids. But they don’t. So kudos to you for educating the ‘rents on what’s going on. ” So many teens express this sentiment to me canada goose outlet niagara falls in one way or another that it canada goose outlet oslo reinforces my belief that despite the horrified looks on their faces when we bring it up, teens want to discuss sex and sexuality with an adult they trust. They want parents know what’s going on. canada goose coats
They just don’t want to be the ones to bring it up.
What’s really going on
canadian goose jacket You don’t have to look too hard in your local paper, on the news, or yes, even in my e mail inbox, to find panic inducing stories about teens having group sex at parties or on buses or playing sex games and getting pregnant at tender ages these rumors and trends are addressed in the next chapter. In this chapter, I want https://www.baertakreation.de to provide the big picture: today’s teen sex landscape what’s going on with most teenagers across the country. These statistics and revelations are based on my interviews and contact with teenagers, as well as national surveys, including my nationwide Teens: Tell the Truth! survey of more than 1,000 teenagers, which I produced in consultation with The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, the results of which are revealed in this book for the first time. canadian goose jacket
Knowing the truth about teens and sex is the first step to helping teenagers sift through the ever changing choices and vital decisions they will make in the coming years.
Canada Goose Online And, happily for both parents and teens, no one’s diary will be read in the canada goose down uk process. Canada Goose Online
Good news first
canada goose black friday sale There is always plenty of negative news about teens behaving badly and how sexual and sexually active teens are today. But in truth, over the past 15 years some very positive trends concerning teens and sex have been evolving. For example: canada goose black friday sale.
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